Struggle Song: Book 1

Struggle Song: Book 1

Cory Ballad

1

Success

At first

I was afraid

Did it anyway

2

Stubborn be Winning

I did not listen

Criticism arrived

I knew I was right

3

Moving Day

I cannot pay my rent

they kicked me out a month ago

Now I am back in it

I never moved my furniture

and now my ass is sittin'

on that couch that’s by the door

My forks are in the kitchen

My clothes are in the laundry room

Do not plan on leaving

I have no funds to relocate

Tell ya I am blue

I smoke all day  to elevate,

elevate my mood,

my mood up to the ceiling

I drink all night to alleviate

this pain that I been feelin'

Anguish it won’t leave me ‘lone

I wish I had a Genie

then I wouldn’t live this way

Strife is gonna kill me, 

kill me til I’m dead and gone

Tomorrow they’ll be back

cuz it a be cleaning day

They will find me waitin'

this nameless, faceless, homeless stray. 

4

When I Became a Writer

I picked up my pen

I wrote everyday

Then I was a writer.

5

MMI

I dreamed that I saw you

You were here with me for a time

For us to share the same space and energy,

Glorious.

Sublime.

I’m grateful my mommy visited me

Even if it was in a dream.

6

Persistence Pays Off

Its been a mighty long road

Many nights I had no sleep

Persistence pays off

7

Two Worlds

Some say I can’t do anything right

I’m cheerful,

I’m intelligent,

 but I’m not white

They say I laugh too loud and have too much fun

And ask why I’m not normal:

Complacent, silent, miserable and hopeless like everyone

Some say I can’t do anything right

I’m passionate,

and driven,

 and I’m too light

They say I’m not concerned with the right things

Like cars, and drugs and hoes with tongue rings

They say I’ll never succeed, just have more fun

And ask why I’m not normal:

Complacent, silent, miserable, and hopeless like everyone.

8

Torture Yourself

If I could stay out my head, I would be happier

but that would never happen

Misery isn’t that terrible.

9

Celebrate Yourself

If whatever you do is never enough for yourself

You may accomplish much, and be loved

by many

but feel worthless and alone inside.

10

Mind Free

When you do nothing

You do everything

Stop to think.  Clear your mind

11

For Doubters

They tell me

 I’m wasting my time with all this ,

“creativity”

I tell’em,

 “Well, I rather be dead!

Cuz I already am without it!”

Can’t you see?

I’m a mo’fuckin’ genius!

What’s wrong with creativity?”

12

Weariness

If you faint not

If you faint not

If your mind with criticism from others

you taint not

If doubt on your canvas

you paint not

If your sacred vision you restraint not

You shall flourish

If you faint not.

13

Weak Spot Courage Chant

Please give me strength

to write again

When darkness falls,

Still, I pick up that pen

if I fall,

I record the sin

Breathe-

take it in

Distribute my vulnerabilities

let them see

the true,

the inner me.

14

Cory Ballad 2019

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